I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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