my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
