meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
