People with herpes should wear stickers.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
