just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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