with your own penis?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
