so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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