I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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