LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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