If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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