The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
