i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
