just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
