I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
