In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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