Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
