Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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