these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
