Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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