so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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