I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
