Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I want to walk on stilts...naked
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
