Dual....:-)
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
