Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
