drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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