Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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