no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
