Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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