I'm so fucking centered right now
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
