He is an equal opportunity slut.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
