I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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