I think I died a long time ago.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
