Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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