Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I DEMAND FORESKIN
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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