she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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