I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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