I wannas sexs uuuuu
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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