i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
