don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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