At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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