Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
