theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
