I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
i believe in u and ur pee
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
