Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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