FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
