Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
