ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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