you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
