So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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