I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
