also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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