i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
we're so committed to being not committed
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
