If that was your dad, he is hot
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
