people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
