So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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