she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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