Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
